Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

About a Tori Amos Song

I think we can all agree that Tori Amos is a goddess at the piano. But this lyric from the song "Big Wheel" bothers me because it contains a grammatical imperfection:

I-I-I am a M-I-L-F,
Don't you forget,
Don't you forget.

May I parse it out?

I-I-I am a Mother I'd like to fuck,
Don't you forget,
Mother I'd like to fuck,
Don't you forget.

She'd like to fuck herself, which is fine, if that's what she intended to imply.

Now I will take this moment to address the issue of grammar snobbery, which, to me, ranks somewhere between male rollerblading and inadvertent racism on the distasteful scale. I do not wish to be a grammar snob, but since my posts usually rate an above-average on the distasteful scale (between recumbent bicycling and cunning linguists), I feel obligated.

And then there are people who say that Tori uses "MILF" as a noun meaning a desirable woman who has raised a child or children. In addition, they argue that she has taken a word which heretofore has been used to objectify women and turned it into an statement of empowerment, and that it's not about the spelling. I don't want to argue about this because I'm pretty sure I'd lose.

So, Tori, I propose this for your future shows:

I-I-I am a M-Y-L-F,
Don't you forget,
Don't you forget.

There. Mylf. Sounds better, doesn't it?


Blogger patguy said...

You make a very valid point sir.
However, changing that one letter does not stop the song from sucking as a whole.

Haha. Sucking as a hole. Hmmm. I don't think that means anything, but I can't say it without chuckling. Wait, now I can. Its novelty has worn off. Oh. Try it with various accents. That does it. Chucklin' again.

11:51 AM  

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