Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Conspiracy or Crackpot?

Big Pharmie has an extensive catalog of products designed to get rid of those bad thoughts you think about yourself and others. Certainly, users of these products have a right to the better quality of life and the better interpersonal relationships that they may offer. However, when a person's decision to improve the quality of his or her life ties directly to corporate profit, one should consider the advantages to pharmaceutical companies of fostering a social climate where interpersonal relationships are by nature disjointed and dysfunctional, and quality of life needs improvement. In that light, what if you could:

Rewire the brain neuron to neuron. Think of a list of good thoughts to think. Go through the day thinking your list. The neurons in the brain which correspond to those thoughts would move closer, making the recurrence of those thoughts more probable. After only weeks of treatment, you would view everything in the context of those good thoughts you initially put on paper. Or so brain science would like you to think...

Here are some good thoughts with which to start:

1) There is something to be learned from everyone, especially the club-footed.
2) Wacky rhinoplasty dream, ding dong, hot spilling cream.
3) I will finish what I start. I will start me up (If I start me up I'll never stop). Shit.
4) The Nagchampa seems to whisper Anne Heche.
5) (While driving) men tailgate because they are closet homosexuals; women tailgate because they think their car is a giant thumb.

You know, and the like.


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