A Valentine's Day Incident

Ah, there you flutter, sweet cherub, just out of reach in the top corner of my shower. I've been looking for you. Come here and give me some of that tasty bitter poison from your arrow. My body is used to poison.

No? Too strong for me you think?

Then I've got something for you. Hold on, let me get it from the closet. Yes, it's a longbow. I took it from a dead body I ran across in Uptown. No match for an AK, apparently. And these are lawn darts. I had them shipped from the Czech Republic so I would have something to do while drinking absinthe.

The window is locked, friend. Now let's not make this more unpleasant than it already is. Hand me your weapon, and I will just touch the tip to my tongue, and then you can have it back.

Okay, have it your way. But don't say I didn't give you a chance.

Take that, you weird diapered fucker!

Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I just wanted a taste. One little taste...was that so much to ask? It's all your fault.

It's all my fault. Stop cooing! Stop cooing at me!

This is not going to be easy to clean up.