Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Lickable versus Likable

Is someone lickable necessarily likable? The answer is no, if by lickable we mean "physically appealing." That is, if you think to yourself when you see that lickable person, "Mmmm. I'd like to lick you in several sexual ways. I'd like to taste your salty and sweet, your sour, and maybe your bitter if you'll let me -- or if you fall asleep in public. No, not if you fall asleep in public because that would be wrong, and I might face prison time, when I would taste other salties and sweets and sours and bitters in exchange for cigarettes." Then, if you're done thinking that and you approach the lickable person to say, "Hello. What's your name?" and he or she spits in your face, then that lickable person would be not likable.

However, if by lickable we mean "willing to be licked anywhere by anyone regardless of [the licker's] age, race, creed, color, or sexual orientation in exchange for the sheer pleasure of the lick," I think we have found a likable person: tolerant, sensual, charmingly odd, and probably comfortable with his or her place in life. Unless, of course that lickable person was covered in a carpet of fire ants and the momentary lack of pain on any tongue-swath of skin could be construed as sheer pleasure. People being bit to death by fire ants are rarely likable.


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