Saturday night blogging

Some people have advised me against blogging on a Saturday night because they think it makes it seem like I've got nothing better to do, so others will think that I'm ugly and that I smell bad. Yet I ignore their advice because I don't care if you think that I'm ugly and that I smell bad. And my advisors, by and large, are ugly and smell bad. Yeah, that's a big "fuck you" to you guys. You know who you are. There are no mirrors in your house, and you can smell yourselves.

I may pretend not to, but I do care about my perceived visual appeal and scent, yet you can neither see nor smell me on this blog. There's no way for you to judge. If there were a way, I'd let you smell me first. I'm more confident in my scent than in my looks -- most days. I smell like one part old-timey shaving cream, one part talc, and with luck, no parts onion or cumin.

"Oh," you say, "but I find cumin oh so sexy."

"No you don't," I say. "Liar."
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