Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Friday, August 20, 2010

A Human among Humanity

Even in the dream-clouded dawn when the air is cold and my bones are heavy, my life is a gift of possibilities. I'm a human among humanity. It might have been easier to compromise, to marry young, to abandon the global for the local and become another rube in a minivan who runs a stop sign at 6 A.M. for a thrill and doesn't tell his wife for fear that her mouth will make that wrinkly "O" shape after "How was your day?"

There's something more for me, a giving of myself. I feel it when I walk the streets, bathing in curious urban dialect. It's in the smell of sewage and the savage scream of someone's child who wants pancakes at 6 P.M. Really, why not pancakes at 6 P.M.? I could provide that. I like pancakes. I haven't any syrup, which might bring another savage scream. Powdered sugar and fresh fruit are not good enough.

Maybe that something isn't for me, but if it isn't, it's for someone who knows me. It's always there. Some days it's heavy, an obligation. Other days it's light and bright and zooms me forward out of a vacuum. It might be God, but it's probably just life.


Blogger sybil law said...

I really, really love your mind. And your writing.

9:54 AM  
Blogger patguy said...

It might be life, but it's probably just a brain parasite.

12:45 PM  
Blogger Lora said...

I want a whole book full of mini essays like this one

5:17 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

sybil - me too, sometimes.

patguy - a very long thin worm.

Lora - I have several notebooks like that, but the essays ripen slowly.

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Asylum Dolly said...

I agree with all the comments here. Also i really want pancakes now.
Being a human amongst humanity makes me feel a bit lonely and insignificant,but also makes me think i'd better hurry up and enjoy it by pursuing my dreams.Ot makes no difference to the world what i do, but it makes a difference to me!

9:05 AM  
Blogger Rassles said...

I frequently eat pancakes for dinner. Sometimes with blueberries.

11:30 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

Bon - It's good to pursue dreams. The pursuit takes you places. But in the end dreams are always vanishing just as they're in your grasp, replaced by a new shimmering on the horizon.

Rassles - So you're saying you eat pancakes for dinner more often than you make lists?

There's a recipe for pancakes in my November 2006 archives. I think it's the only time I've ever had pancakes for dinner.

11:18 PM  

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