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Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

A Sunday Conversation

I was at a swanky Cuban restaurant yesterday. The rum was strong and the music sensual. I drank a mojito and sat down next to a woman at the bar who was also drinking a mojito. We compared mojitos. Hers was lower, so we got to talking.

She was a Republican Evangelical with six fingers (one is a nub), a shopololic, bad teethed and psychologically numb, a toenail-fungus-having turd-eating anorexic (when there are turds) who's had cosmetic surgery, and a gun enthusiast who made it plainly clear that she has no interest in me.

"Are we soulmates?" I asked her.

"How many mojitos have you had?" she asked.

"Just one," I said.

Apparently I had had a stroke earlier in the day.

I'm OK, though, and that's what's important.

7 Comments:

Blogger Peau said...

I thought you loved six fingered republican evangelicals?

8:36 AM  
Blogger Peau said...

(p.s., please end your violence against the internet vis-a-vis comment verification omg)

8:37 AM  
Blogger sybil law said...

She obviously didn't recognize a great catch when she saw one!
And the nub totally killed me.

11:20 AM  
OpenID whiskydrinkinchimneysweep.com said...

A stroke of genius. May I call you Maestro?

1:29 PM  
Blogger d'Arcy said...

second mojito is needed

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Letter XI said...

Cuban? Cubist? Yes, and all at the same time.

Sometimes I think the apostrophes are sending me secret messages.

Who's (of the two of us) had cosmetic surgery?

But if there was an answer, the message wouldn't be secret anymore.

Do shopololics only buy things in funny little online binges?

It is 4:40am. I will remember this (of course) but no longer understand it by tonight.

Hers was lower, indeed.

4:45 AM  
Blogger JMH said...

Peau - Yeah. The heart wants what it wants. P.S. You're right, violence is not the answer.

sybil - The nub killed me too.

wdcs.com - Please do.

d'Arcy - Yes. Mojitos are like potato chips in that way, but with far less predictable consequences (although both end in thirst and potentially regret).

61 - I'll have to stay up until 4:40 A.M. and then and only then will I fully understand.

7:21 PM  

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