Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Monday, March 03, 2008

Possible openings to future posts

  • An adequate casserole contains a can of peas, a can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, a can of tuna, and Jays ridged potato chips, layered twice in that order and warmed.
  • I take my pants off when I enter my apartment because I'll need to wear them again, and also someone across the street might like to watch me walk around in my underwear.
  • If you go to a live poultry store for a fresh chicken, always pray to your God while they're killing it. That way, you obtain both Divine favor and a meal.
  • If your brain is the Earth, desertification causes hangovers.
  • The voices in my head are obviously not real, except for one, and that one doesn't say much.
  • An orangutan is not a good roommate.
Let's make it interactive! Leave your vote in the comments section, and I'll begin a post with the opening line who receives the most votes (if it's a 1-1 tie, I get to vote twice).


Blogger Jonn said...

I want to know more about the orangutan train of thought because it is the only statement i disagree with. For the price of diapers you have a butler and a friend.

10:50 AM  
Blogger patguy said...

The orangutan premise was recently used in the pilot episode of a really terrible new sitcom on Fox. The orangutan tries to rape a guy. Could be funny, but it was poorly executed.

I vote for the chicken post. I've never been to a live poultry store. I'd like to know more about that.

Also, any post that starts with "I take my pants off" is probably on the right track.

2:21 PM  
Blogger SORTofBLOG said...

"The voices in my head are obviously not real, except for one, and that one doesn't say much."

I've said this. Do we share a brain?

5:01 PM  
Blogger Crys said...

The post about one silent voice in your head. This somewhat charms me.

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Job said...

I vote for orangutans. I don't believe they are the type of apes that fling feces. Right? Even diapers won't prevent that. In fact, diapers would actually serve to keep the feces warm and pliable. Not good.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

My vote goes for the voices in the head sentence. Not that I know anything about that type of thing, myself.

10:42 PM  

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