Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Sunday, September 03, 2006

A Fine Sunday

Adapted from a recent post on Sarah in Wonderland.

Last night I slept well and slept in, giving the ants and roaches free reign until one in the afternoon, when I resumed cold, detached insect-smashing using a pad of paper with "Things to Do" at the top and "murder vermin" written underneath.

The sun shines bright today. I have stopped seeing black shapes out of the corners of my eyes by taping to the walls black construction paper cut into nebulous forms. I am trying to concentrate on the fact that the best way to get rid of something that doesn't exist is to make it exist. I'm going to be concentrating for a while.

I am getting more and more excited for autumn's brilliant leaf-show, and I can't wait to disappear from work for a few hours and walk in the park and feel that strange, prickly sensation in the back of my brain. The colors will be vivid in the air so crisp. I will stick my tongue out and feel the chill, and mothers will gently guide their children away from me. My senses give me so much pleasure.

I don't work tomorrow, and I feel slightly guilty about that, but after spending Saturday unconscious, I need one more night of irrational euphoria. I am lucky to have the job I do because it gives me the means to an end. But what end? I guess we all get by, but it would be great to have an ultimate goal. That will be the mantra over the next year..."learn to play soccer."

The ideas were playful and adorable this morning, jumping all over me in bed. We were a giant pile of family laughing and playing. I can often see little bits of my precious and ill-fated "Dress up in Spandex and walk through the ghetto's" personality in "That hat isn't just for ladies" and "Rub aloe all over yourself." "That hat isn't just for ladies" is definitely the goofy, more playful idea, while "Rub aloe all over yourself" is cuddle-obsessed and perfectly happy to curl up and receive some good pettings.

I am feeling a bit crazy as I know there will be a lot of nothing to do until Tuesday. I should get out of the apartment and buy some ingredients for homemade dinner. The aroma of cabbage boiling will fill the apartment, and ultimately my belly, and later on as dawn breaks, I will probably pass out, comfy.

Hooray for long weekends!


Blogger Sarah said...

I like it!!
I'm surprised I'm able to sound so happy while dealing with a rather heavy shitstorm lately.
To make a long story short, a family member is at BroMenn in the psych ward, I guess we all fall off from time to time. It's good though, because right now he's safe.

10:47 AM  

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