Basic Journalism

Who?

St. Nicholas

What?

Filled my boots with oranges, walnuts, and candy.

When?

Late last night or early this morning.

Where?

Outside the front door of my apartment.

Why?

Because I am a good boy of central European descent. I guess St. Nick hasn't seen my homemade porn. Or maybe he has, which would explain the hairs drawn on the walnuts...
---