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Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Contagion

My cousin brought her kids over, and I'm pretty sure the younger boy had the mania. While sitting on my lap explaining in a roundabout fashion how to count to twenty, the lousy kid sneezed on me. I mean fucking cover your mouth.

"It's good manners to cover your mouth," I told him. That's what I was told.

"You put the one and the nine next to each other to make nineteen," he said. "The one and the nine love each other."

"Hmmm. Well, yeah, makes sense as much as anything does."

The kid squirmed off my lap to run around the room, grabbing at things that I couldn't see.

Now, two days later, I'm hypersensitive to art, beauty, and music, and I can barely eat because it feels like there's a hot filament burning inside. I can feel its light shining unhealthy from my eyes. I must achieve, compete, solve problems.

Damn kid. Ah, it's not the kid's fault. I too have been sneezing into the air just so I can watch the diffused and diseased saliva particles sparkle down to the floor. The mania is great.

5 Comments:

Blogger Crys said...

contagion.

9:17 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

That's a better title. I was going with "Airborne" before, for anyone who reads this.

9:23 PM  
Blogger John Dantzer said...

I always thought one was the loneliness number, I guess I was wrong.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

Give it to me! Give it to me!

7:20 AM  
Blogger amadea's world said...

I call such a kid Wahnsinnskind.
You know what? - I used to show those awful kids my tongue. There is such a kid in my neighbourhood. Well, poor kid. The parents are a nightmare.

12:01 AM  

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