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Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Muse

I don't like the word "muse" and shortly you'll know why.

The kind of man who seriously uses the word "muse" invariably wears a turtleneck and a ponytail. His breath reeks of expensive coffee, and he just sheds dandruff. He uses the word to describe his rat-faced girlfriend. He says, "She's my mewwwws. She's a poem. I don't know what I'd do without my mewwwwws." Unless he writes rodent control pamphlets for a living, I wish he'd just die. Then I would take her as my mewwwwws, luring her into the bedroom with bits of cheese and peanut butter. Peanut butter, really. They like that shit. Look it up. But what about the rabies? God, there's always something.

6 Comments:

Blogger jorg wobblington lopez said...

You can't spell mewwwwwws, without ewwwwww.

4:51 AM  
Blogger peau said...

i have been called someone's muse, how dare you

8:13 AM  
Blogger Lora said...

this guy makes me puke in my mouth a little

9:44 AM  
Blogger JMH said...

Thanks guys. A bonanza of comments today, for here anyway.

jorg - no, no you can't. Is it skin?

peau - Well, if I knew you, I'd probably write to impress you, which is almost the same thing.

Lora - Couple things: 1) That's two comments here and both involve you puking. Next time you visit, brace your gag reflex. 2) When you say "this guy makes me puke in my mouth," you're talking about the guy in the post right? I mean, you're not just announcing to the Internet what you think of me.

9:41 PM  
Blogger peau said...

you know me some

3:39 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

and I write for you some

1:43 PM  

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