Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Sally spends the morning vacuuming cobwebs and lint from her unfinished basement because yuck, cobwebs and lint do not belong there, and what if Jesus stops by with his white robe and white gloves to check for dust?

She hears the baby cry through the monitor and hauls her wholesome thickness upstairs to attend to that. She lifts him out of the crib and presses her face to his. He smells like powder. Sally smiles and gurgles. "Oh Adam, you look just like hubby," she says.

Adam spits up in her mouth.

She swallows it.


Blogger Lora said...

I've had puke in worse places than my mouth.

I love this, btw.

Your post. Not puke in my orafices

8:04 AM  
Blogger JMH said...

My imagination is going to love filling in the wheres, whys, and hows of that. I'll be giggling to myself my entire walk to work. People will cross the street to avoid me.

9:57 AM  
Blogger jorg wobblington lopez said...

This one really made me laugh. I wasn't expecting the ending.

So, the baby is metaphor for penis right?

8:34 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

That interpretation could certainly spark an interesting discussion. My worry is the proximity of the words baby and penis and synonyms thereof could attract some unsavory characters via search terms and/or the FBI.

10:37 PM  
Blogger jorg wobblington lopez said...

It would be good for the FBI to read this, not for the pairing of the words baby and penis, but because it might relax them at little.

10:16 AM  
Blogger Mia Watts said...

Well, shit. And all I'm thinking is why the heck is she suffocating this poor hubby-looking baby with her face? And and and everyone knows Jesus doesn't go to the basement for the spot test. The basement belongs to the devil motherinlaw or some scary shit like that. *shiver*

Nifty spiders though. Did she use a baby monitor to hear him from all the way down there? Does hubby smell like baby powder too?

DEMN YOU!! The questions, they are endless!!

1:19 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

But the answers are whatever you want them to be.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cutest thing ever. Yet I don't want to be in that position. Ah, youth.

11:53 AM  
Blogger JMH said...

I won't judge your idea of cute.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Terry Haferkamp said...

I didn't read any sexual innuendo in this blog. If there were, I totally missed it. I would like to know what the writer thinks about this contraversary interpretation concerning oral sex. I just don't see it.

5:08 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

I don't see it either, but interpretation says a whole lot more about about the interpreter than the author.

8:07 PM  

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