Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Roadside Event

I was already late when I swerved onto the shoulder. The sun beat on. Heat rose from the dashboard, and the air conditioner coughed. Metallic saliva filled my mouth. I spat out the window onto the hot asphalt. There was no way I was going to waste seven layer salad, ribs, twice-baked potato, and German Chocolate Cake.

My stomach turned. Swallowing, I got out of the car. Traffic whizzed by. I spat again. My mind pictured a Denny's Grand Slam breakfast. My mind is a sadist.

Out it came, in courses, in reverse, very recognizable.

I sat down cross-legged beside it. Fluid ran into the grass. I readied my spoon and began to put it all back. A place for everything, everything in its place.


Anonymous Asylum Dolly said...

But I like it.Who would think to write about vomit eating?
Very original! I guess it would be a pity to eject all that goodness...baked taties and chocolate cake are the food of the gods.

7:46 AM  
Blogger sybil law said...

Oh God.
That is extremely foul.

Puking is the WORST, though. Especially when you really like what you ate!!

8:37 AM  
Blogger jorg wobblington lopez said...

Puking and burning food are similar since in both cases you have to remake what you've already done.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Job said...

Asian erotica? Ixo Ixo!

12:15 PM  
Blogger Rassles said...

I would not want to waste seven-layer salad eitehr.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Rassles said...

Also, I would like to use proper spelling in my comment next time.

12:29 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

B - For a year in high school, my dog was the only person I hung out with. We developed some common interests.

s - Nowadays, regular foul just bores me.

j - And both can kill you. I don't know if I'd rather burn or puke to death. Wait...neither.

J - Ix-no!

R - I appreciate the correction. The thing about eating seven layer salad puke is that I never remember which order the layers go in.

8:09 PM  
Blogger dogimo said...

It's at least ten or eleven layer salad now. Plus grass.

A little grass for the digestion!

11:42 PM  
Blogger JMH said...

Grass, yes. Grass always goes on top. Oh, to be a ruminant and puke stomach to stomach.

11:53 PM  
Blogger Stella said...


2:06 PM  

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