The Storm Is Coming, Guy from Michigan
A storm's a'comin'. Too many apostrophes. Too much folksiness. I don't have a down-home way of speaking. Some people do, and that's nice as long as they're saying things I want to hear. Once a guy from rural Michigan told me that I sound like a dictionary. A dictionary, of course, does not speak unless you waterboard it, but I don't think that guy meant it literally. I think he meant that I sounded uncool. Additionally, I failed to wear my baseball cap backwards. That was a sad day. But a storm is still coming, a tempest, a low pressure front, nature's fury (nature: an abusive mother). It will have a way to make everything equal. Being uncool will not matter, if it ever did.