Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Friday, February 18, 2011

A Nicer Way of Saying

Because I need more time to arrange the prepositions and articles in my notebooks, maybe today we'll try a new feature. This will of course require audience participation. (You) Participate! Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to? Jesus? Jesus. Jesus!

In my suburban upbringing, it was emphasized to say things nicely. Though it toes the line of passive-aggression, I've learned to like it because it demands exactness of language and tone and awareness of any possible double meanings. So here goes:

This is the puzzle:

__________ is a nicer way of saying ____________.

This was my solution this morning:

Polyamory is a nicer way of saying Nymphomania.

Of course there's flaws in that one.

For one, it is my understanding that Nymphomania, by definition, can only occur in females, whereas polyamory is a unisex term. What's Nymphomania for dudes? Satyr-something (Satyriasis, thank you Wikipedia), but I just don't think anyone would recognize the word. Adding "or Satyriasis" to my solution would destroy the brevity of phrase and cause confusion over its meaning. There should be a unisex word. Ah, it could be (hypersexuality, thank you Wikipedia). But "Polyamory is a nicer way of saying hypersexuality" doesn't quite have the punch. Why?

For two, that's an awfully skewed vision of polyamory.

But let's focus on what's at hand. Let's pursue the former line of thought. It appears that Nymphomania appears in the news a whole lot more than its male equivalent. In medical circles, it's a clinical diagnosis, but in the wider range of society, it's porn shorthand for easy marketable sex. It concerns me that I've internalized this. But if the joke is funny, let it be funny.

Well, we've run a bit long on time, but I have to emphasize that this feature will only work if the audience participates in solving the puzzle. This is a two-way street: you have to keep me amused also. If I get five solutions, I'll continue the series and probably the analysis. (You) Participate.



Blogger jorg wobblington lopez said...

I did not go into depth on this one: Humpin is a nicer way of saying fuckin. (at least in my opinion.) I will answer five times to see A Nicer Way appear again if I have to.

2:38 AM  
Blogger sybil law said...

I suck at these!

Not Picky is a nicer way of saying slutty.

Touched is a nicer way of saying batshit insane.

(Oh! We didn't make it to Chicago. It's hectic and insane, here. However, we WILL be there at some point this summer, I think - so I'm keeping your number to text you then! Also, maybe to say hi and crank call you. Are you into heavy breathing?! ;)

10:08 AM  
Blogger KoZ said...

Politician is a nicer way of saying conniving self-interested prick.

10:35 AM  
Blogger JMH said...

jorg - let's see, we got four. Apparently most people like to tell it like it is.

sybil - you mean being on the receiving end of heavy breathing? I don't know. I imagine it's flattering, a lot like receiving anonymous flowers, except with extra creep.

KoZ - True.

12:54 AM  
Blogger Stella said...

Rogue is a fancier way of saying ManWhore
Socialite is a nicer-new-agey way of saying Spinster

11:19 AM  
Blogger jorg wobblington lopez said...

ok (for a woman) is a nicer way of saying no.

11:56 AM  
Blogger JMH said...

Stella - I've never heard "rogue." Is it a regional term or a European term? Or maybe I'm just not exposed to enough ManWhores. If that's the case, I'd like to keep it that way.

jorg - Critical mass reached. Thanks for your contributions. I hate the "OK." There's no enthusiasm there.

11:14 PM  

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