A Nicer Way of Saying

The puzzle for today is...

__________ is a nicer way of saying __________.

Of course, this is the only puzzle game I run, and it's somewhat like those crosswords without numbers, only much easier and less pointless.

My solution today is "Would you like some cheese grits?" is a nicer way of saying "We don't serve bagels, and I hate you, Yankee."

The funny part is that I actually wanted cheese grits all along.
I just didn't know it at the time.

Now your turn.

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A Nicer Way of Saying

In my upbringing it was emphasized to say things nicely, and so was born my compulsion to be precise with language. You don't say "binge," you say "repeatedly indulge." You don't say "purge," well, actually you do say "purge," although you might follow it with "food demons." Huh. Society got that one right, er, wrong?

Here is today's puzzle:

__________ is a nicer way of saying ____________.

This is my solution, unrelated to bulimia, I mean, that's a serious issue for some people:

"Everything" is a nicer way of saying "Nothing."

As in, "No, I disagree. You've got everything to live for."

It all depends on your life philosophy I guess.
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A Nicer Way of Saying

Because I need more time to arrange the prepositions and articles in my notebooks, maybe today we'll try a new feature. This will of course require audience participation. (You) Participate! Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to? Jesus? Jesus. Jesus!

In my suburban upbringing, it was emphasized to say things nicely. Though it toes the line of passive-aggression, I've learned to like it because it demands exactness of language and tone and awareness of any possible double meanings. So here goes:

This is the puzzle:

__________ is a nicer way of saying ____________.

This was my solution this morning:

Polyamory is a nicer way of saying Nymphomania.

Of course there's flaws in that one.

For one, it is my understanding that Nymphomania, by definition, can only occur in females, whereas polyamory is a unisex term. What's Nymphomania for dudes? Satyr-something (Satyriasis, thank you Wikipedia), but I just don't think anyone would recognize the word. Adding "or Satyriasis" to my solution would destroy the brevity of phrase and cause confusion over its meaning. There should be a unisex word. Ah, it could be (hypersexuality, thank you Wikipedia). But "Polyamory is a nicer way of saying hypersexuality" doesn't quite have the punch. Why?

For two, that's an awfully skewed vision of polyamory.

But let's focus on what's at hand. Let's pursue the former line of thought. It appears that Nymphomania appears in the news a whole lot more than its male equivalent. In medical circles, it's a clinical diagnosis, but in the wider range of society, it's porn shorthand for easy marketable sex. It concerns me that I've internalized this. But if the joke is funny, let it be funny.

Well, we've run a bit long on time, but I have to emphasize that this feature will only work if the audience participates in solving the puzzle. This is a two-way street: you have to keep me amused also. If I get five solutions, I'll continue the series and probably the analysis. (You) Participate.
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