What is it about a bender that causes this guilty sensation? Do I feel bad because I act like an animal sometimes, or is it simply a symptom of dehydration? Did I do something awful while I was "time travelling?" I woke up with all my clothes on and no bruises on the body. Did I use up all my endorphins on my liver? Should I take more vitamin C? There are no good answers to these questions, but it soothes me to ask them.
Empirical evidence gathered since the original publishing of this post suggests that the third-day anxiety (also guilt, shame) relates less to the physical consquences of drinking (e.g. dehydration, bruising), than to the behavior associated with it (e.g. ridiculing God, urinating for arc) . Specifically, the level of post-drunken anxiety is directly proportional to the inhibition difference between the drunken fool and the average sober self.
One hypothesis for solving this problem involves acting the drunken fool while sober. By reducing the inhibition difference, one must reduce the level of post drunk anxiety. However, does this action eliminate the need to get drunk?