The Good Word of Sprout

Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Thursday, May 26, 2011

How a Woman Might Be

Around the house she wears a white tank top and no bra. Besides the mailman and the stray cat, she has no visitors. But just in case she keeps a light jacket on the hook by the door. It hangs there.

She likes to pass a mirror and be taken with a man's desire for her, strong and barely controlled. Always tall and olive-skinned with dark eyes, he never smiles, just lowers her to the floor. She can smell him. He smells like work.

She regrets sometimes not pursuing men, not wanting to seem needy or desperate, although sometimes she was. Most of those encounters would have been brief and ended in disappointment, but there might have been a few, with luck, that would have ended in agony. Now she's warm to compromise, and she knows she's more desirable than most, for the next several years anyway, barring accident. But even if the future holds no man, she knows who she is.

She flounces up and down the stairs, guiding the lemony rag across the bannister and up and down the spindles. She wonders if a baby's head could get stuck between them. The rich wood gleams. She smiles, a gap between her top two front teeth, and sings softly in French, "Hipopatame, hi-popatame."

As she eats she pages through a novel and swirls and sips her wine, admiring how the chicken nestles in the soft lettuce. A ripe tomato slice pokes out. She rereads her favorite passages, marked with great curvaceous brackets and tiny cryptic notes. She refills the wine.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Nicer Way of Saying

In my upbringing it was emphasized to say things nicely, and so was born my compulsion to be precise with language. You don't say "binge," you say "repeatedly indulge." You don't say "purge," well, actually you do say "purge," although you might follow it with "food demons." Huh. Society got that one right, er, wrong?

Here is today's puzzle:

__________ is a nicer way of saying ____________.

This is my solution, unrelated to bulimia, I mean, that's a serious issue for some people:

"Everything" is a nicer way of saying "Nothing."

As in, "No, I disagree. You've got everything to live for."

It all depends on your life philosophy I guess.


Monday, May 09, 2011

Problem/Solution/Com- plication

Problem: I spend my workday staring at a computer screen (when I'm not staring out the window), and then I go home and spend my evening staring at a computer screen (when I'm not staring at myself in the bathroom mirror -- it's a contest, you see).

Solution: When I come home, I locate the main circuit breaker for the apartment and turn it off. Soon after, I wonder, "What was that sound?"

Complication: I spend the evening hiding under a blanket. Also, my food spoils.


Thursday, May 05, 2011

Baskin Robbins

My mind is full of caramel, my thoughts sweet and slow. I got a bit of swagger, sure. I'm in no hurry. I stroll down the case and smile at all the flavors. There's a lady behind me who's going to want a lick of my ice cream. She's wearing sweatpants. Nice.

All those flavors sit in the cold. They don't really know me yet. My spoon is going to burn hot and slow, and make that ice cream wait until it can't stand it anymore. It's going to be a puddle by the time I'm done with it.

I'll sweeten its life with toppings. How many scoops? How many scoops can I eat? I hope four, but I don't expect it. But I'm ready. Damn am I ready to order.