The Good Word of Sprout

Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Yuppie murmurs

The light scrape of a bare foot on wood floors is a domestic, secure sound. It indicates an environment protected by wealth and industriousness, that the creator of said environment is fit to procreate.

This is important to an animal without bright plumage, aggression, or exceptional physical strength. This animal must not shy away from its own sexuality. It must become a bright ball of sex.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

City Music

I do not listen to my iPod outside because I prefer the natural music of the city: the way people talk, the languages they use, the footsteps behind me (oh-god-oh-god-oh-god), the traffic and the machinery, the bus stop recordings -- only the east/west bus speaks. The city's music delights my ear. I can't download it. In the future I'll be able to download it, you know, when I'm old and crippled. And I'll listen to it and think about this day and ask--

"Is this Wednesday, dear?"

She'll smile. "No, dear. It's Sunday."

"Is this late March, dear?"

"Time for your pill, dear."

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Monday, March 23, 2009


My friends are the geniuses. I am the silly one, the baby blue one. I learn from them through imitation. I am equal when I imitate them. I have good friends who don't mind echo. It's nice.


Friday, March 20, 2009

earlobe alternatives

i no longer subscribe to the bombastic pretentiousness of capitalization. the capital i represents the false inflation of the ego. yes, it's that -- or maybe it's that i've mailed both shift keys and the caps lock key to different webcam girls as tokens of my affection, a la van gogh. also, -kew- will now be used to represent the letter between p and r. the girl who got that one, she was really -kew-t.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Same Thing

If I could just justify writing the same thing over and over, I really would. Really, I would. Maybe that's what I do, you know, that whole "just borrowing words from the universe, nothing can be said that hasn't been said already, etc, etc." I don't mean to be flippant about the universe, it's full of wonder, and not many other things are full of wonder, certain bras maybe. But like a chant, couldn't I write the same thing every day? Do I?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Achieving Dignity (nope)

Your body and its functions will betray your efforts to achieve dignity.

At least we can laugh at:

(1) Cock'n'balls, dirty cock'n'balls, the words "dirty cock'n'balls," stop saying "dirty cock'n'balls."
(2) A gentleman with good dinner table posture projectile vomits on the prime rib, and then other gentlemen make the joke that the rib is "now past its prime."
(3) Our reactions to puppies and other baby mammals.

It's unfortunate that:

(1) The Queen of England acts to perpetuate the myth that dignity is possible to sustain.
(2) We expect people to die with it. What the heaven?

Nature punishes hypocrisy. Nature punishes a lot of things, though.


Sunday, March 08, 2009

Reptiles (make me feel different)

Check me out. I'm going to give my opinion of reptiles.

I like reptiles because:
(1) I quit smoking cigarettes, and reptiles eat cigarettes.
(2) When they act, reptiles make things seem important.
(3) I don't get enough terror at night.

Reptiles sometimes make me regret:
(1) Imitating them.
(2) Assuming the role of prey.

Overall reptiles are good -- not quite people -- but good.