The Good Word of Sprout

Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Problem/Solution/Com- plication

Problem: Old vacuum cleaner without suction

Solution: Buy new vacuum cleaner

Complication: Taking it to dinner and a movie every Saturday night.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Who? What? Why?


Middle class liberals


Believe in the essential goodness of humanity.


1)) Abundance of clean water 2) Barack Obama told them to.

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Monday, March 03, 2008

Possible openings to future posts

  • An adequate casserole contains a can of peas, a can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, a can of tuna, and Jays ridged potato chips, layered twice in that order and warmed.
  • I take my pants off when I enter my apartment because I'll need to wear them again, and also someone across the street might like to watch me walk around in my underwear.
  • If you go to a live poultry store for a fresh chicken, always pray to your God while they're killing it. That way, you obtain both Divine favor and a meal.
  • If your brain is the Earth, desertification causes hangovers.
  • The voices in my head are obviously not real, except for one, and that one doesn't say much.
  • An orangutan is not a good roommate.
Let's make it interactive! Leave your vote in the comments section, and I'll begin a post with the opening line who receives the most votes (if it's a 1-1 tie, I get to vote twice).