The Good Word of Sprout

Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Friday, February 18, 2011

A Nicer Way of Saying

Because I need more time to arrange the prepositions and articles in my notebooks, maybe today we'll try a new feature. This will of course require audience participation. (You) Participate! Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to? Jesus? Jesus. Jesus!

In my suburban upbringing, it was emphasized to say things nicely. Though it toes the line of passive-aggression, I've learned to like it because it demands exactness of language and tone and awareness of any possible double meanings. So here goes:

This is the puzzle:

__________ is a nicer way of saying ____________.

This was my solution this morning:

Polyamory is a nicer way of saying Nymphomania.

Of course there's flaws in that one.

For one, it is my understanding that Nymphomania, by definition, can only occur in females, whereas polyamory is a unisex term. What's Nymphomania for dudes? Satyr-something (Satyriasis, thank you Wikipedia), but I just don't think anyone would recognize the word. Adding "or Satyriasis" to my solution would destroy the brevity of phrase and cause confusion over its meaning. There should be a unisex word. Ah, it could be (hypersexuality, thank you Wikipedia). But "Polyamory is a nicer way of saying hypersexuality" doesn't quite have the punch. Why?

For two, that's an awfully skewed vision of polyamory.

But let's focus on what's at hand. Let's pursue the former line of thought. It appears that Nymphomania appears in the news a whole lot more than its male equivalent. In medical circles, it's a clinical diagnosis, but in the wider range of society, it's porn shorthand for easy marketable sex. It concerns me that I've internalized this. But if the joke is funny, let it be funny.

Well, we've run a bit long on time, but I have to emphasize that this feature will only work if the audience participates in solving the puzzle. This is a two-way street: you have to keep me amused also. If I get five solutions, I'll continue the series and probably the analysis. (You) Participate.


Monday, February 14, 2011

A Valentine's Post

Happy VD everyone! Now I know that everyone doesn't celebrate VD. VD affects different people in different ways. It makes some people sad (it can be painful), but it makes others euphoric and light-headed, although that could be a side-effect of medication. Some people think VD is artificial, but I can assure you that it's very real.

I myself try not to let my VD affect my mood too much. I have my VD under control. It's a fact of life. It happens every February. And every March I go to the doctor, but those things aren't related.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Basic Journalism




Their faces


When they eat a Butterfinger or pre-party with me.


They take me to a different place. A happy place where we are all one of many and one of the same. Sort of like religion, except, well, you know.


Why? Why are you asking that? This is not a place for journalists. We haven't kicked you out yet because you've been quiet and quite pleasant, but now with these questions? You got to leave.