Kitchen Persuasion

The side of my toaster reads, in black block lettering, "Bread stuck? Try a fork." So far it hasn't convinced me.

My roll of paper towels, which I initially thought had a pattern of flowers or herbs, in fact has little pink hearts inscribed, "Try me instead of toilet paper." So far it hasn't convinced me. Oh, and the hearts are upside down.

On the miniature box fan in my window, the knob on top is not labeled "Fan Speed," but rather, "Degrees of Sexual Pleasure." That convinced me once.
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New Policy

The contributing writers at The Good Word of Sprout will be held to a no-less-than-three posts in five days policy to give our readership a more complete, up-to-date understanding of The Good Word.

--The Administrator